The Level Up Letter - Vol. 10 - The Stockdale Paradox

Understanding the difference between faith that you will prevail and blind optimism

Author

Better Board Meeting
February 23, 2024

THE LEVEL UP LETTER

Hi All!
Here is your weekly Level Up Letter. This week’s focus is on the Stockdale Paradox and the lessons we can learn from someone that survived nearly 8 years of torture in Vietnam.

Hopefully there’s a little something you can find in here that resonates with you. (without having to endure the pain) We hope you enjoy this week’s letter and please forward along to anyone you think might enjoy it as well.

QUOTE OF THE WEEK

THE STOCKDALE PARADOX

"You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end—which you can never afford to lose—with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."

Admiral James Bond Stockdale, was the highest-ranking United States military officer in the “Hanoi Hilton” prisoner-of-war camp during the height of the Vietnam War. Tortured over twenty times during his eight-year imprisonment from 1965 to 1973, including two years in heavy leg irons and four years in isolation. Stockdale lived out the war without any prisoner’s rights, no set release date, and no certainty as to whether he would even survive to see his family again. In fact a good number of POWs didn’t make it home.

When asked who didn't make it….

Admiral James Bond Stockdale

“Oh, that’s easy,” he said. “The optimists... they were the ones who said, ‘We’re going to be out by Christmas.’ And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they’d say, ‘We’re going to be out by Easter.’ And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart.”

So how do you get through such a nightmare experience?

“I never lost faith in the end of the story, I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.” 

There are two main takeaways that resonate in all the work we’ve done across our coaching and business consulting.

  1. You need to believe, to your core, in the outcome.

  2. You have to accept your current reality.

It’s a powerful thing to remember across all areas of life. You can use it in the depths of grief by knowing in your soul that you will be ok again but accepting that in the moment you’re allowed to feel all the pain and how awful it is.

Or you can use it in business. Believing that your company or idea will succeed wholeheartedly but understanding what stage you’re at in the present.

From here you make the next best decision and move forward.

CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK

We’ve all experienced hardship in our lives. It may not compare to being held hostage but we shouldn’t discount the hard things we’ve had to overcome. Coming off the Stockdale Paradox we challenge you to take the time and answer the following questions.

  1. What has been the most difficult thing you’ve ever done or been through in your life?

  2. What belief did you hold on to in order to get through it?

  3. What decision did you make at the time that had the biggest impact?

  4. What have you learned from that difficulty in retrospect?

We’d absolutely love to hear your answers to these. Feel free to share them with us via email at [email protected] 

TWO BOOKS

If you want more on Admiral Stockdale and what he endured in Vietnam, grab yourself a copy of In Love and War.

Not only does he tell his story, his wife, Sybil, tells her side in alternating chapters. Jim recounting his experiences in prison during those years; Sybil telling of her struggle to get the U.S. government to acknowledge the inhumane treatment of POWs in North Vietnam and to enforce the terms of the Geneva Convention--all the while raising four sons on her own.

Before Admiral Stockdale spent his time in Vietnam, Victor Frankl was held in the concentration camps during WWII. He famously wrote “He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” His driving desire to finish his life’s work kept him alive. After the war and surviving the camps, he became the creator of Logotherapy and spent his life helping others discover their meaning and purpose. If you haven’t read it we highly suggest picking up a copy of Man’s Search for Meaning.

READY TO LEVEL UP?

Looking to Level Up your life or your business? Find out more about how we can help through our Coaching, Mastermind Groups or Consulting services.